<h1 style="text-align: center;">Marriage Game: Playing The Long Odds</h1>
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<p>There's been some back and forth online lately regarding Game and its application in marriage. Opinions seem to go from Game has no place in marriage all the way to <a href="http://marriedmansexlife.com/">Married Man Sex Life</a> which is Athol Kay's blog on married man Game. (Note: Athol himself does not claim to run a 'sphere or Game site, but many of his methods are based in Game theory, and the forum clearly shows that his fans and followers are Game aware if not involved to an extent.)</p>
<p>On the "game has no place in a marriage" side of the scale, I call hogwash. In fact, now that I've been Red Pill aware for awhile, I see Game in just about every human interaction possible. Just chatting with the check out cashier at the grocery can and often does have Game components in it, so why in the world would anyone say there is no "Game" in marriage? Of course, as with most things, moderation is key as is knowing your venue and how to properly gauge your Game to it. I'm not going to outline every way that Game can be applied to marriage, (for that head over to MMSL and dig in!) but I'll give some examples of how I use pieces and parts of Game in my own marriage.</p>
<h2>Push And Pull: Maintaining Tension And Desire</h2>
<p>Push/Pull -- this is pretty standard Game fair: it is a bit like tug of war, only the goal here is to "tug" on your <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/07/17/the-difference-between-attraction-and-relationship-skills/">wife's attraction to you</a> and her desire for you. In pick-up Game, this can take the form of all kinds of interactions. Negs (remarks meant to be a slight "dig" at the women in question while being playful enough to keep her attention) are often used after a bit of "pull" (behavior meant to drive her curiosity up about you and keep her attention) and to create a bit of tension and keep her off balance. In the case of my own marriage, I often "pick on" my wife over any number of silly things. Of course they are light hearted and meant in jest, but they still serve the purpose of giving her a little shit to create some tension. Another is the classic "drive-by". If my wife is involved with something like folding laundry, I may quietly get behind her and wrap my arms around her waist while nibbling at her neck. After a few seconds I'll follow up with a swat to the butt and go about doing whatever I was prior to stopping by. This primes her drive, and at the same time creates a bit of tension because I remove myself from the area right after. It gets her excited AND leaves her wanting more.</p>
<p>Negs -- I honestly don't "neg" my wife in the classic sense. I have no need to "knock her off the pedestal" to even the playing field, so hard core negs aren't necessary. However, as I said above, I do "pick" on her often. Normally these are simple things like joking with her for losing her keys. (after we find them of course!) I'm not trying to actually dig at her. Instead, I'm trying to get her to laugh at herself WITH me. This is part of the "kid sister treatment" that seems to work very well for many men in marriages. The idea is to tease her as if she is your kid sister from time to time as a way to lighten the mood and add some playfulness in the relationship. This can also include rough housing/wrestling or any other number of items. On occasion my wife will wear her hair in pig tales. Every time she does, I make a habit of tugging on them at least once. She usually replies back with mock annoyance saying something like "stop touching me!" to which I reply "didn't anyone tell you in grade school that when a boy tugs your pig tales he likes you?!" And then I follow up with a wink, a swat to the butt, or maybe a quick kiss.</p>
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<h2>The Dread Game And Social Proof</h2>
<p>Dread -- this is a very hot topic in the 'sphere and anywhere relationships are discussed, and rightly so. Dread is instilling fear in your SO that you have "options" and may at any time decide to use them. By options I mean a clear knowledge that other women find you attractive, and that you know how to generate interest FROM that attraction. In a long term relationship most see dread as a nuclear device only used as a last resort. An example of this would be a wife that simply refuses to work with her husband to improve a marriage, in which case the husband might get some reaction from her if he can clearly demonstrate he can go elsewhere for his sexual needs. (I'm sure you can see why this is often called a nuke. It can easily blow a relationship up if instead of stepping up her game the woman in question simply bails out.) Of course, a guy doesn't have to actively foster dread game if he is simply a man that other women desire. This is ideal marriage Game in my opinion. By being an attractive man, other women will give you attention without any instigation, and your wife seeing that will quickly understand that if she weren't in the picture, any number of other women could be.</p>
<p>Pulling this off requires a healthy dose of <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/21/how-to-be-more-confident-and-have-tight-inner-game/">inner game</a> (inner game is in a nutshell simply being confident in yourself and your abilities to find attractive mates. There is a LOT more to it, but beyond the scope of this post) because it requires a man to be attractive enough to get attention without seeking it out. (that is, women must find you attractive enough to indicate interest without you needing to initiate flirting. Purposely flirting with other women in front of your wife may very well get her to jump your bones, but it could also damage her trust in you and damage the relationship stability overall. Use at your own risk!) I don't purposely dread my wife. Ever. I don't need to because she knows other women find me attractive, and knows that even though I love her and am committed to her, I could without a doubt find another women to be with if necessary. In fact, sometimes she gets small doses of "dread light" without me even being there! Co-workers and friends dropping comments about how much better I'm looking, or how funny I am, or any number of odd compliments works to drive up my value to my wife. Not that she doesn't value me already, but more that if OTHER women value me from the outside looking in, perhaps she should value me a little bit more. (or, more importantly, SHOW me how much she values me...) This also falls into the category of "Social Proof" which is an effect gained when other women see you as a valuable man. The woman you are with will see those women checking you out and it increases your attraction to her as well.</p>
<h2>Outer Presentation: Looking Good And Staying Fit</h2>
<p>Outer presentation -- this is all about how you look, dress, and behave socially. I'm a fairly introverted person, and my social skills have been lacking most of my life. One of the things I've put a good bit of effort into since finding the Red Pill is learning how to at least appear to be comfortable in mixed company. On the inside I may be stressed out a bit, but I make sure it doesn't reach the surface. Being socially inept or clumsy may be endearing at first, but over time it can and does often become a sore spot for women. (it seems to be more of an issue for women than men, meaning overall men don't seem to mind if their wives aren't social butterflies, but women tend to get frustrated with men that simply don't do well with social cues.) In addition, I started exercising and getting into better shape. (or at least a shape that isn't mostly round...) This is something that just about any man can do (unless of course you are already ripped and lean) and it doesn't have to cost a fortune. Yes, eating better does cost, but exercise is as cheap as a pair of shoes and a road to walk. Lifting weights doesn't have to cost a fortune. If you don't have the budget for a gym membership, look on Craigslist for used free weights. (don't bother with machines if cost is an issue. Many guys that are serious about exercise say machines don't work as well as good old fashioned weights anyway. Others here are in the know to chime in...)</p>
<p>And, once you get the bulge under control, <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/10/19/a-cave-mans-way-to-attract-women/">update your wardrobe</a>. Back in my Blue Pill days, I used to believe that dressing my best and being in shape didn't matter, because its what's on the inside that counts! Well, I'm here to tell you, that may be true in that what's on the inside is what she loves, but it certainly isn't what she lusts for. So, if you want love AND lust, you have to be a man she can find physically attractive. Again, that doesn't mean you have to spend six months pay on expensive clothes, just buy stuff that fits properly and doesn't look like it was assembled by a clown. And, as a married guy with bad fashion sense, I had the added bonus of a built in ready made fashion consultant: my wife. After all, she's the one I want to attract, so why not get her input on what I'm wearing? I still stick with styles I'm comfortable with, but I ask her input and even entertain suggestions from her I'd normally pass up. The honest truth is she's picked out a few things I laughed at, until I tried it on and saw how it looked. Plus, she likes that I take her advice and considerations into account, and it makes my life easier because I don't have to guess what she likes.</p>
<h2>Finding Your Own Flavor Of Marriage Game</h2>
<p>I'd like to hear from all of you. What types/kinds of Game do you all use in your relationships? What works, and what tanks? One of the things I enjoy about the MMSL forums is that everyone comes and compares notes. Not necessarily on purpose, but as people post their troubles others chime in and it becomes apparent that everyone has to find their own flavor of Game. I've learned a lot simply by reading the experiences of others, and then looking to see if/how it fits into my own.</p>
<p>And don't hold back because you are single. This post is about married Game, but any and all experience can be useful and possibly applied to the long haul.</p>
<p>NOTE: before anyone posts an angry response that I don't have my Game theory straight, take a deep breath and understand I'm not a PUA nor do I intend to be. To me, Game is largely a concept with many ideas, and in most cases it must be individualized to fit a guy's strong points. I have no intention of rewriting the definitions of Game, but I also don't follow them all to the letter. I'm looking at the whole of Game and selecting those bits that work for me and my marriage. I suggest that any man looking to use Game in his relationships do the same, because one size does NOT fit all.</p>
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